Posts Tagged With: emotional health

Focus on Being Healthy

Often I run across women in the grocery store, clothing store, and they are putting themselves down. I mean they are really digging in for the kill, “I am so fat. I am so ugly. I hate my body. Do you see this one wrinkle on my face. Oh man I am a troll. I wish I were skinnier. I wish I had her body. I wish I could be just like…(fill in some unrealistic expectation).

There is such a push in our society to be an airbrushed version of ourselves. I wonder often where the obsession with skinny and enhanced body parts came from. It’s okay if you are naturally thin. It’s also okay if you are not.

No one at our funerals will say, “They sure could have lost those last ten pounds.” It’s ludicrous to keep allowing the scale or a preconceived idea of beauty to stop you from enjoying life.

Love the body you are in and celebrate it. Say it with me, “I love my body.”

I was talking to a young lady who has always hated being a girl. Then she developed breast cancer. I told her, “You know hating yourself impacts your soul and your soul health impacts your natural (body) health.”

The body, soul, and spirit are connected. Sickness in one area impacts the others.

I knew of another lady who hated being female and she developed ovarian cancer. She hated being a girl. She died last year. She cursed her feminity with her words and cursed the gender given her at birth. Her self hatred manifested in her body.

Is all cancer the result of self hatred, no. Can our lack of love for who we are impact our bodies, absolutely.

There can also be copious amounts of time wasted on trying to be thin, skinny, get the last 10 pounds off that the joy of life is removed. I read an article a few weeks ago of a mom who died because she overdid it with protein consumption. Her pursuit of the “Perfect” body led her to the grave. What good is her “Perfect” body 6 feet under? Underground her body is rotting and decaying. Nothing but bones will lay in that grave. Her children will grow up without her. What good is skinny if you are dead?

Life is a gift! It may not always feel that way with the challenges, pressure, and pains of life. Yet life is a gift. Some people did not wake up this morning, or they have lost everything, or they are hanging on for dear life. What are we doing to enjoy life, really enjoy it! How are we focusing on being healthy…

Let’s talk about healthy life focus…

Healthy is more than meal plans and exercise. Healthy is taking care of ourselves, emotionally, and having our priorities straight.

What S.M.A.R.T (A SMART goal should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound) goals are you setting for yourself? What are you doing to get closer to your personal goals?

This year I stated I wanted to focus on some of my own goals. I have. I have lost 25 pounds. I traveled to the Grand Canyon (bucket list item). I finished the manuscript for my second book. I stopped investing in one sided relationships. I limit time with toxic people. I am working on my third book and hope to get in the recording studio in the next 12 months. I spoke at a regional women’s conference for the first time ever. I quit some volunteer jobs that were killing me.

I realized in most situations I am the responsible person. If someone needs help and it’s legitimate, I will try to help. I tend to put others first. Yet life requires balance. If you are putting others first and they are putting themselves first, guess what, you will be left depleted. They will leave you cleaning up messes, handling situations, and they will ride off into the sunset on holiday. They will have no problem telling you no, quitting, dropping the ball, yet you will be left a wreck with only yourself to blame. Boundaries baby boundaries.

Relationships were meant to be mutual blessings, not one sided blessings. Who constantly has their hand out and deposits nothing? That is not your friend.

We need to focus as much on our own goals as we do on the goals of others.

If you are that person always putting yourself first, this does not apply to you. If you are a giver and try to invest in others, this applies to you. Are you sacrificing your own health (mental, emotional, and spiritual) for others and ending up burned out? If so, reeval your priorities. Reassess your boundaries. You are not responsible for other people, unless it’s a small child, your child. Adults are to take care of their own lives.

“Selfishness is placing your wants above others needs. Self care is placing your needs above another’s wants.”

Who are you investing your time in for relationships? Why? Do those people even try to match your effort? Relationships are not about what we can gain. There is a problem if everyone connected to us has their hand out.

What things have you wanted to do that you put off doing? Can you pick those up again?

What is toxic in your life? What are you doing about it? Ask yourself is what you are doing today getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow? Then move in the direction of the best yes.

My hope is you pursue health. Pursue healthy in every facet of life.

To your health…

Erin L Lamb

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Mental & Emotional Health 101

Today's post tackles emotional and mental health.

We live in a world of dysfunctional people; they are people who hate themselves and have no clue who they are. Their internal turmoil is often projected outward to those around them. You can choose to be offended or understand the battle is inside the other person and has nothing to do with you.

How people behave is an outward manifestation of their inner reality.

Key Things to Note:

People who hate themselves cannot love you. It is impossible to give away what we do not possess.

If you asked me for 10 million dollars, I could give you nothing. Why? I do not have 10 million dollars.

I have seen people go bananas over the lack of love, respect, and honor from others. People cam not give what they do not possess.

I encourage not allowing broken, unhappy people to rob you of joy! Joy is a weapon. Why give others that much power over you? The battle is ongoing inside of them, do not let their battle disrupt and discourage you.

I know it's easier said than done! Right?! Yet I will tell you that some of my greatest regrets have come from wasting time thinking about the negative energy of other people. They exposed me to their negativity and instead of ignoring, I internalized their crazy. Just say no to crazy!!

There is a story that I heard about Gandhi that helped me. I would like to share it with you.

There was a man who saught Gandhi out to berate him daily. He hurled insults, acted ugly, behaved poorly. Gandhi never responded or acknowledged his poor treatment. Finally the man said, "What is wrong with you? Can you not hear me, what I have said of you?" Gandhi replied, "If I give you a gift and you refuse to receive it, who does the gift belong to." The man replied, "It still belongs to you." "Exactly," Gandhi replied "You brought me insults and hostility yet I refused them, therefore they still belong to you."

Sometimes people insult me, try to put me down or make me look bad, etc…I have been called names, etc…I choose not to respond to what is not my name nor do I accept what they offer. Their lack of character, good sense, integrity, and love is between them and God. Their "gift of insult," still belongs to them. I maintain who I am which is someone who desires to represent the heart of God. I move right along maintaining joy.

Bless those who persecute you. Honor the dishonorable. Why? You represent something higher!!

My hope and encouragement is to stay the path of peace, love, joy and wellness. Refuse the toxicity of those around you. Sometimes we must speak up instead of ignore, yet my hope is we cease allowing small minds and broken people to steal from us!

Forgive them and move along!

To your health!

Erin Lamb

Photo sources: Pinterest, Tiny Buddha, Jill Conyers

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Small Changes Make Tremendous Impact

  
Beautiful wellness friends. You can do this, a commitment to a healthier life! I believe in you. 

I started this wellness blog because my life was just in utter chaos. I had  so much stress. Just like the picture quote above…I woke up one morning and said, “I don’t want to live like this anymore. I need to change.” And I did. 

One of the first things I did was assess my relationships. Many of them were uber toxic. There was constant drama. I tried to reason with some, and others I said, “It’s been real but I no longer have the heart, ability, or capacity to deal with this constant nonsense.” A bold but healthy move. 

I then spent about a year healing from the toxicity. Soul healing, recovering, seeking for what was next. 

  
I realized I had spent a good portion of my life helping other people, cheering for other people, supporting other people, loving people. Yet when I looked around, my support was minimal. I am all for giving without expectation of return. If you’re always giving and there’s not balance it leads to feeling like a slave or very unloved. 

So here are some things I’ve learned along the way! You ready? Hope so. 

1. Say no to things you don’t have the ability to support emotionally, physically, and financially. All three. 

Sometimes I get invited places and I really can’t expend any more emotionally. As an introvert, massive togetherness is draining. 

I limit what I say yes to! 

2. Say no to things that don’t align with the vision or mission. 

I’m a very driven person. I have goals and a mission statement for my life. Does the request fit? Every opportunity is not my opportunity. 

3. Assess the relationships in your life. 

Who are you spending time with and why? If everyone in your circle is the same, how will you grow? Diversity is important and being surrounded by people who want to mutually invest. Iron sharpening iron. If you’re helping everyone in your circle, that’s charity or ministry. Connect with others further along than you, doing what you’d like to do, and who will challenge you to become better. 

4. What are eating? 

Food is supposed to be fuel. If you eat garbage, it doesn’t run as efficiently. 

I started making changes in the food choices I made. 

5. What are you watching? 

I gave up cable two years ago. I miss some things, many I don’t. I am not bombarded with commercials telling me I need to buy things I don’t need or look some way I will never achieve without plastic surgery. I’m not stating cable is bad. I’m stating what you feast on gets deposited in your soul; images, sounds, and ideas. 

6. What are your goals? 

This life on earth isn’t forever. What are your goals? I encourage people not to wait until they are 65 to make a bucket list. Why are you alive? What will your legacy be? 

Each person has a divine purpose for being alive. You matter! Your life matters. 

Write out those dreams and be specific. 

Here’s one of mine. By 2017 I want to have my demo CD complete and on iTunes. It’s reasonable, specific, and there’s a time attached to it. 

What are your goals? What changes in your life need to take place to achieve those goals? What’s stopping you? 

These changes brought such peace to my life. I have more joy now than I ever have had. I have peace and joy. My confidence is greater. I have several groups of people that are more supportive that opened up to me from stepping away from what I had. I have zero relational drama. I have the free time to write music, books, read, and grow. I’m excited more than I was about my future. I have the ability to say yes to what is great instead of wasting time on what’s simply good. I’m free of chronic sadness! I have hope. I’m more creative. There are so many great things that came from 1 choice. 

My life had to change. I was willing to do what was necessary to make that change happen! 

Cheering for your destiny! You can do this!!! 

  
All photos courtesy of Pinterest.

Xxxx,

Erin 

Categories: Emotional Health, Mental Health, Motivation | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Feast on Good Things

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Last post we talked about ingredients. They are so important. The post before that we talked about having a negative mind. Today, I want to pull it all together.

What you feed grows!
What you starve dies!
What you feast on is what will take root and bear fruit!

What are you feasting on? This isn’t just about the Cheetos hidden in the back of your cupboard or the bags of Oreos kept around in case of emergency. This is about everything you’re taking into your life.

How much time is spent watching tv with violence, bad news, bad relationships, drama, and commercials telling you that your life is not enough?

How much time is spent reading news feeds on Facebook or Instagram? Most people put the best parts of their lives on social media…look how much I love my spouse, my kids, my new car, my church, my new hairstyle, my fill in the blank….it’s not wrong to keep people informed or stay informed. However, if you’re feasting on a steady diet of others bragging, even if you feel good about your life…you’re feeding your subconscious mind tools for comparison. We are taught from an early age to compare things. Comparison robs the soul of joy!

How much time is spent in solitude, quiet, journaling, learning, or reading? Busyness is killing and over stressing the industrialized world. Work harder, do more!!! Work! And even play or recreation can be in excess. Life requires balance and rest. We are also so dependent on information given to us via news, social media, or the internet…people sometimes forget you can’t believe everything you read or hear. Do some research. Read books. Learn something. Feed your mind something other than reality tv.

Who are we listening to and spending time with? I took a year to refrain from being super social. I had some negative experiences with people and wanted restoration. I found out you can’t be fully restored if you’re constantly exposed to negativity, drama, he said…she said, and easily offended people. It wears on your immune system. I read, spent time in prayer, journaled, painted, played guitar, spent time with God. I never had so much joy! I feasted on good things and limited interactions with people who at the time were not beneficial for my mental or emotional health. You may not be able to do what I did. You can take a weekend away by yourself or tell your loved ones, “I need a break. I will be in my room the next couple of hours.” You can tell people, “I love you, but I refuse to have this conversation until you can be respectful.” Set boundaries with people! Don’t be a doormat.

Finally, we sometimes believe wellness is simply about the body (what we eat and exercise). It’s the mind, body, spirit, and soul we are called to take care of. If we neglect one part, the others suffer. So be good to yourself!

Xoxo,

Erin

Categories: Emotional Health, Mental Health, Nutrition, Spiritual Health, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Take 5

Young Woman Sleeping on Lawn Chair

We spend so much of our time doing. We are busy from sun up until sun down. We are plugged in, connected, and constantly busy. Today, I would like to talk about something we sometimes fail to do, but it’s very important for our well-being; rest.

Rest is so important. We can think that running full steam ahead is a great idea, however our bodies will suffer if we don’t rest. Here’s some info on rest.

Rest helps keep our hormones in balance. The hormone grenalin which controls hunger is disrupted when we do not get adequate sleep. When we are sleep deprived, we are often hungrier. Grenalin  stimulates our desire for fatty food and high calorie density food. Lack of sleep also disrupts the hormone leptin. “Leptin signals the brain that the body has had enough to eat, producing a feeling of satiety. Moreover, this fullness hormone may make it easier for people to resist the temptation of foods high in calories.1″

Rest helps us to build muscle. Despite what we may believe, working out every day at high intensity is not the best. Here’s some information from Livestrong. “Overworking your muscles actually prevents muscle growth, because your muscles do not have time to adjust to the strain put on them. By doing tough muscle-building exercises with adequate rest, you will see gains in muscle strength and bulk in a few weeks,” Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/100116-proper-way-build-muscles/#ixzz2J1GaL6p4.

Even if you are not working out to build muscle, overworking our bodies is not beneficial for our health. Rest is important for a healthy body.

Tips

Rest improves mental and emotional health. If you have ever suffered from insomnia, which I have, you know that your mental health suffers when you are exhausted. You can’t think clearly. Everything seems to be especially hard and taxing. You may suffer from anxiety, a bad case of the grumpies, lack of concentration, etc…Sleep and rest (ceasing from continual activity) helps the mind to function the way it is supposed to.

Rest helps your body combat stress. Stress is not our friend. You can go back and read earlier posts about what stress does to the human body. Prolonged stress causes hormonal imbalances, weakens the immune system, can cause gastrointestinal problems, relational problems, hair loss, etc…We want to rest so our bodies can rebound from excess stress.

Rest helps us to remain at center, at peace. I am a person of faith. I believe peace is powerful. Rest helps us to remain at peace. When we are constantly moving, doing,etc…our spirits suffer. I often lack peace when I am ceasing to rest. You may not be a person of faith, so hang with me if you aren’t. My goal on this site isn’t to push my beliefs on you. I do believe in God and that rest is a spiritual discipline. A Sabbath is needed to benefit not only the body, mind, and emotions, but our spirits as well.

Well, my dear friends. I hope that you find time in the midst of busy lives and strenuous workout schedules to rest. Make rest a priority! Keep up the good work, I am cheering for you!

1. Baicy K, London ED, Monterosso J, Wong ML, Delibasi T, Sharma A, Licinio J (November 2007). “Leptin replacement alters brain response to food cues in genetically leptin-deficient adults”. Proc. Natl. Acad. Sci. U.S.A. 104 (46): 18276–9. doi:10.1073/pnas.0706481104. PMC 2084333. PMID 17986612.

Categories: Emotional Health, Fitness, Mental Health, Spiritual Health | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Sabotaging Your Health?

If one part of the body suffers, the entire body suffers. We spend time trying to fix one symptom when there are many root issues at work.

Last time we talked about stress and sleep and the impact it has on weight loss and health. Today I want to talk about ways we can minimize stress.

1. Let go. Seems simple, but there are so many things that are outside of our realm of control. We can’t fix everything. There’s deep truth in the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Letting go of the things we cannot change brings peace to our minds, spirits, and souls.

2. Cease being all things to all people. Someone once said the key to failure is to try to please everyone. It’s not going to happen. Over-extending ourselves is a sure fire way to be stressed. What has to be done and what can be done by someone else?

Also trying to make everyone happy is unhealthy. We are not responsible for another person’s happiness. They alone control their happiness. You can do all that you know to do and someone still end up unhappy.

3. Nix perfectionism. Perfectionism is self abuse. Excellence, seeking to do the very best job possible is good. Perfectionism is a cruel task master that says, “If it’s not perfect, it’s not good.” I’m a painter in my free time. Some of my favorite paintings aren’t perfect, but they are still beautiful to me. Aim for excellence and be okay with not having perfection in everything.

4. Celebrate your accomplishments. I don’t mean brag, but if you achieve a goal, take a moment to celebrate that victory…no matter how small. It’s so easy to overlook the good and focus on the next thing. We need to slow down and give thanks.

5. Do something fun. All work and no play makes life dull and boring. We work for the weekend. Find something you love to do and do it! Life is too short not to be enjoyed. If you have a family, see if you can slip away for some alone time every so often. Solitude is often good in our fast paced lives.

There are many other things that help with stress like exercising, journaling, prayer, etc…just wanted to share a few with you that I find helpful. Here’s to your journey to wellness.

Fight for your happiness. tumblr image.

Categories: Emotional Health, Mental Health, Spiritual Health | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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