Posts Tagged With: boundaries

Mental & Emotional Health 101

Today's post tackles emotional and mental health.

We live in a world of dysfunctional people; they are people who hate themselves and have no clue who they are. Their internal turmoil is often projected outward to those around them. You can choose to be offended or understand the battle is inside the other person and has nothing to do with you.

How people behave is an outward manifestation of their inner reality.

Key Things to Note:

People who hate themselves cannot love you. It is impossible to give away what we do not possess.

If you asked me for 10 million dollars, I could give you nothing. Why? I do not have 10 million dollars.

I have seen people go bananas over the lack of love, respect, and honor from others. People cam not give what they do not possess.

I encourage not allowing broken, unhappy people to rob you of joy! Joy is a weapon. Why give others that much power over you? The battle is ongoing inside of them, do not let their battle disrupt and discourage you.

I know it's easier said than done! Right?! Yet I will tell you that some of my greatest regrets have come from wasting time thinking about the negative energy of other people. They exposed me to their negativity and instead of ignoring, I internalized their crazy. Just say no to crazy!!

There is a story that I heard about Gandhi that helped me. I would like to share it with you.

There was a man who saught Gandhi out to berate him daily. He hurled insults, acted ugly, behaved poorly. Gandhi never responded or acknowledged his poor treatment. Finally the man said, "What is wrong with you? Can you not hear me, what I have said of you?" Gandhi replied, "If I give you a gift and you refuse to receive it, who does the gift belong to." The man replied, "It still belongs to you." "Exactly," Gandhi replied "You brought me insults and hostility yet I refused them, therefore they still belong to you."

Sometimes people insult me, try to put me down or make me look bad, etc…I have been called names, etc…I choose not to respond to what is not my name nor do I accept what they offer. Their lack of character, good sense, integrity, and love is between them and God. Their "gift of insult," still belongs to them. I maintain who I am which is someone who desires to represent the heart of God. I move right along maintaining joy.

Bless those who persecute you. Honor the dishonorable. Why? You represent something higher!!

My hope and encouragement is to stay the path of peace, love, joy and wellness. Refuse the toxicity of those around you. Sometimes we must speak up instead of ignore, yet my hope is we cease allowing small minds and broken people to steal from us!

Forgive them and move along!

To your health!

Erin Lamb

Photo sources: Pinterest, Tiny Buddha, Jill Conyers

Categories: Emotional Health, Mental Health | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Take Care of Yourself

  
Photo Source: Quotes and Thoughts. 

Hello wellness friends! I have not forgotten about you. 

I hope you are taking good care of yourselves; body, soul, and spirit. We are truine beings who need care in each area to be whole. 
One of the areas I have been focused on the past 9 months is the soul. The soul consists of our mind, will, emotions, and heart. If we prosper in our souls, our bodies benefit as well. 

The soul and spirit are not the same. The body is the house where the soul and spirit reside. 

As a person of faith, there is plenty of time invested in feeding my spirit positive things. The soul benefits from these activities. 

The soul has needs. These needs include intimacy (to be known), connection with others, acceptance, affection, love (to be loved), support, encouragement, to process information and feelings, to have fun and recreation, and to have rest-just to name a few. 

If you are a giver personality time like me, making sure your needs are met may fall way down on the priority list. 

I encourage you to take inventory of what is going on in your life. Have you neglected yourself? Have you invested as much in your soul as your body and spirit? Who in your life is loving you? 

I love giving, encouraging, and supporting others. I am internally driven to contribute. I took inventory of my own life and saw deficiencies. The majority of those around me were being supported, encouraged, loved, invested in, and sometimes I got the scraps off the table. 

I do not blame those who came to make withdrawls, and deposited nothing. I assessed why I was unwisely investing in some situations or relationships. How was it affecting my soul? 

It was depleting my soul. 

I am responsible for stewarding time, resources, and my life. It is not the responsibility of others. I love and value who I am, therefore I had to change the way others addressed me and my investments. 

People who call my number just to gain something and it is not life ordeath  are not a high priority.I started spending more time on things I wanted and needed to do. I ceased allowing other’s to dictate my response time. In today’s society there’s a thinking an email or text requires immediate response. I noticed though people took days to get back to me. I was the silly one trying yo respond fairly quickly out of love and respect. 

So, you learn to set limits and use wisdom with time, resources, and investments. You learn to invest in yourself and your future. You learn to turn some people and opportunities away. You learn to only have people in your inner circle who are like minded, mutually invested, and you care for your soul, body, and spirit. 

I believe life is about balance. 

Give; yes; do it without expectation. Also assess if you have investors in your life. As you are pouring out, is there anything coming in to refresh you? Life requires balance. 

You are worthy of exceptional love! 

Xx

Erin 

Categories: Emotional Health, Mental Health, Spiritual Health | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do it for YOU!

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Hello fitness friends! You’re amazing! I hope you’re being kind to yourself and eating healthy. I hope you’re exercising and gaining muscle. Do it for you!

There are many people who choose diet and exercise for vanity. Magazines and media feed us images of people who have been airbrushed to society’s standard of perfection. If we simply focused on health, there would be industries out of business.

So, when I say, “Pursue wellness for you!” I don’t mean for the sake of vanity. I say it because when you’re 80 years old, you’ll regret not taking care of yourself. When we are young we believe we will live forever! The junk food, late nights, couch potato lifestyle seems alright. The truth is, once you reach a certain age losing weight becomes a struggle. Once you start working full time, you’re often too tired to workout every day. Throw in some kids and well, rest becomes the priority.

We need to take care of ourselves or we don’t have anything to offer anyone else. If you lose the priority of caring for the temple God gave you, eventually it will catch up to you.

One of my strengths and weaknesses is I long to put others first. I wake up thinking what I might do for someone else. I spent many years neglecting my emotional, physical, and mental health to help care for a sick patent. I’ve been known to juggle many things and not take concern for my well being. Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You can only give what you possess.

When you’re tired, worn out, and not caring for yourself; there’s nothing to give to anyone else.

2. Set boundaries quickly in relationships. No is a good word.

Know where your responsibility ends. We can’t be all things to all people. We can also delegate to others.

3. Love people, yet manage toxic relationships.

Drama, spiritual and emotional leeches, takers, constant nagging/complainers, the gossips and haters, the people who are super negative. Limit your time with them if you cannot get out of the relationship. If it’s a spouse or close family member, consider counseling or letting them know, “I love you, yet we can have this conversation when it becomes more respectful or positive.” You set the boundaries for what you’ll accept.

I had a coworker who liked to dump his work on me then complain if it wasn’t perfect. I firmly yet respectfully told him, “I will not do your job and my job. If you need help, talk to our manager about someone on your level to cover for you.”

4. Do nice things for yourself.

If I waited or relied on other people to support my dreams, provide encouragement, or help…I’d be screwed. Most people put themselves first. So, you learn to be good to yourself. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, take breaks, feed your mind and soul good things.

5. Take care of your mind, body, soul, and spirit. Neglect one and the rest suffer.

6. Rest.

Smartphones have set us up to have non stop communication with people. It’s okay to turn off the phone, not respond to every text or email. Give your brain a break. Studies have shown social media increases depression in people. They are constantly comparing their life to others. News flash: most people post the best pictures and stories of themselves.

Sweet friends, I’m not encouraging you to live a self centered or selfish life. I am encouraging you to take care of yourself. Time flies and you’ll regret the neglect as you age.

Warm regards,

Erin

Categories: Emotional Health, Fitness, Mental Health, Nutrition, Spiritual Health | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

Boundaries!

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Hello fitness friends! Tonight I wanted to talk to you about something that will improve your emotional health and wellness. It’s called boundaries.

Boundaries are the parameters we set up with other people to let them know what’s allowed and what is not allowed. Boundaries keep us from being used, violated, mistreated, overworked, or burned out. Stress is a killer. A lack of boundaries leads to stress!

We determine what we allow and what we won’t allow in our lives. We are also called to learn and respect the boundaries of other people.

So how do you establish boundaries? Here are some practical tips.

1. Say no to things that violate your conscience, morals, goals, or are harmful.

Sometimes you have to say no to what’s good to have something that’s great. Every opportunity is not the best opportunity. You have the right to say no.

2. Figure out what makes you uncomfortable and speak your truth.

I’m not advocating complaining, being a know it all, or pushing your opinions on people. I am advocating telling people not to stop by unannounced, to not call after certain times, to keep their hateful opinions to themselves, to mind their own business, to do their own work, to treat you with respect…don’t allow people to dump on you. If you can’t stop the behavior with words, you can walk away. I’ve walked away from people who like to argue or are disrespectful. They can talk to themselves.

3. Set the standard.

People see how you treat yourself and how you talk to yourself. Treat yourself well and as though you are valuable. You have tremendous value and so do others.

4. Don’t let negative or toxic people take up most of your space.

A good way to stop the negativity or complaining is to ask the person, “What are you going to do about your problem?” or “I’d love to hear what’s going well in your life!” There’s nothing wrong with listening to a friend vent. If you continue to allow people to dump their problems on you, you will end up stressed, whether you feel it consciously or not.

5. Seek balance.

Working too much, giving too much, taking too much, eating or drinking too much…all stretch boundaries. Balance and moderation is key. Too much of a good thing can be just as toxic as the wrong thing.

Boundaries don’t make you a diva or a selfish jerk. Boundaries mean you respect yourself and others. The best way to cut back on stress is to set boundaries. Don’t violate others boundaries and don’t allow others to violate your boundaries.

Life requires balance and boundaries. Health requires balance and boundaries. Wishing you a well balanced life!

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Categories: Emotional Health, Mental Health, Spiritual Health | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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